While our journey with Loowan was about finding the right early intervention therapies, our experience with Siikwan sent us down a completely different rabbit hole: one paved with research gaps, subtle signs, and a word we hadn't fully understood until we were living it: masking . If you look at the history of autism research, the vast majority of it has focused on boys. Because of this, classic diagnostic criteria, and what most people picture when they think of autism, are often tailored to how neurodivergence manifests in young males. Very little is widely known or discussed about how it presents in girls, particularly between the ages of 5 and 8. And during those crucial years, our sparkling gem of a girl was becoming an expert masker. Masking is essentially the exhausting act of learning, copying, and performing neurotypical social behaviors to fit in or camouflage internal distress. At school, Siikwan could mostly hold it together, observe her peers, and mirror what was ex...
Yesterday was rough. As a teacher, I also double as an August stay-at-home mother. Most days are manageable. Most days are fine. Yesterday started out better than fine. We arrived early for therapy, so we stopped for breakfast together. The girls were sweet, happy, and giggly. It one of those precious moments where everything just clicked, and I took some wonderful photos as they ate breakfast. To my remorse and embarrassment, however, the day ended with my own personal screaming meltdown. Loowan had occupational therapy yesterday, and I had to bring Siikwan along. She doesn't usually come to Loowan's sessions, but on the rare occasion she does, we've spoken thoroughly about the rules: 1. It’s Loowan’s therapy, not Siikwan’s. 2. Siikwan is only allowed to participate at the sole direction of the therapist. Otherwise, she has to wait on the side, watch, or play on her tablet. The first part went fine. Siikwan got to play in the sandbox with Loowan, color, and even play with ...